Just An Old Country Boy

Antler Bar Stool

$599.95

A Lone Star Western Decor Exclusive - Featuring authentic whiskey barrel construction for the stool legs, the unique Antler Bar Stool is crafted from reclaimed antique barnwood with naturally shed antlers and crown accents for a truly stunning addition to any rustic space. Made in the USA. Measures 16"W x 16"D x 30"H. ~ Ships from the manufacturer. Allow 3 to 4 weeks. Cannot express ship or ship to Alaska or Canada.

Saddle Bar Stool

2010-02-21T13:14:00.000-08:00

Saddle Bar Stool

$699.95

Allow guests to ‘pony up to the bar’ in style with the Saddle Bar Stool. Tooled leather stool measures 17"W x 14"D x 34"H. ~ Ships from the manufacturer. Allow 4 to 6 weeks. Cannot express ship or ship to Alaska or Canada.

Stump Coffee Table

2010-02-21T12:57:00.000-08:00

Stump Coffee Table

$1,669.99

Never has a tree stump looked so inviting as with the Stump Coffee Table. The rich, satin patina brings out wood grains and natural beauty. Measures 55"W x 47"D x 18"H. Every piece is unique and will vary. ~ Ships from the manufacturer. Allow 4-6 weeks. Cannot express ship or ship to Alaska or Canada.

Antler and Barrel Pub Table

2010-02-21T12:52:00.000-08:00

Antler and Barrel Pub Table

$1,999.95

A Lone Star Western Decor Exclusive - Featuring authentic whiskey barrel construction for the table base, the unique Antler and Barrel Pub Table is crafted from reclaimed antique barnwood with naturally shed antlers and crown accents for a truly stunning addition to any rustic space. Made in the USA. Measures 40"W x 40"D x 43"H. ~ Ships from the manufacturer. Allow 3 to 4 weeks. Cannot express ship or ship to Alaska or Canada.

Prairieland Picnic Table

2010-02-21T12:46:00.000-08:00

Prairieland Picnic Table

$2,299.95

Reclaimed teak wagon wheels and recycled planed teak barkwood combine to conjure images of the Old West in the rustic Prairieland Picnic Table with two attached benches. Environmentally friendly construction gives this indoor/outdoor piece an authentic western feel. Measures 75"W x 60"D x 45"H. ~ Ships from the manufacturer. Allow 3 to 4 weeks. Cannot express ship or ship to Alaska or Canada.

2010-02-20T05:50:00.000-08:00

2010-02-17T20:43:00.000-08:00

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2010-02-17T20:40:00.001-08:00

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2010-02-17T20:37:00.000-08:00

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2010-02-17T20:33:00.000-08:00

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2010-02-17T20:31:00.000-08:00

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2010-02-17T20:29:00.001-08:00

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2010-02-17T20:25:00.001-08:00

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2010-02-17T20:22:00.000-08:00

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100 Percent Redneck License Plate

2010-02-17T20:08:00.000-08:00

LP - 1131 100 Percent Redneck License Plate - X312

Smart Blonde is one of the largest factory-direct distributors of novelty aluminum signs and license plates in the U.S. and we are manufacturers too. Every item we carry is of the utmost highest quality aluminum metal because we believe it absolutely matters! We have compared plastic and the super heavy weight steel (3 lbs each) signs and license plates, as well as the very ultra thin lightweight aluminum embossed and non-embossed signs. Our conclusion was simple: Plastic was really just ok, steel was way too heavy to ship and stock and the ultra lightweight aluminum... well they just bend like a piece of paper.
100 Percent Redneck License Plate - Size: 6"x12"

2010-02-16T21:19:00.000-08:00

Glitter Graphics

Redneck Astrology

2010-02-16T20:35:00.000-08:00

Okra December 22 - January 20
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.

Chitlin January 21 - February 19
Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they're uncomfortable talking about just where they came from. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and has plenty of seasoning. When it comes to dealing with Chitlins, be very careful. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra. Remember that when marriage time rolls around.

Boll Weevil February 20 - March 20
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

Moon Pie March 21 - April 20
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. "Big" and "round" are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

Possum April 21 - May 21
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a "don't-bother-me-about-it" attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work, and you may find your problems actually running you over.

Crawfish May 22 - June 21
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically.

Collards June 22 - July 23
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the "melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essences of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

Catfish July 24 - August 23
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, with one exception: Whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

Grits August 24 - September 23
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel, though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.

Boiled Peanuts September 24 - October 23
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

Butter Bean October 24 - November 22
Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

Armadillo November 23 - December 21
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you?Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another mating possibility.

Redneck Confederate Flag

2010-02-15T18:30:00.000-08:00

Redneck Confederate Flag

Redneck Flag is 3'x5' and made of nylon. Flag has 2 holes on one side to hang the flag. Hang these flags on your Flag Pole, Wall, Hood of your car or anywhere else you can think of.

A Redneck Christmas

2010-02-15T08:43:00.000-08:00

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the trailer

Not a creature was stirrin' 'cept a redneck named Taylor.

His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle,

And a-runnin' down his chin was a trickle of spittle.

His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care,

And therefore there was a foul stench in the air.

That Bubba got scared and rousted the boys.

There was Rufus, 12 Jim Bob was 11

Dud goin' on 10 Otis was 7.

John, George and Chucky Were 5,4, and 3:

The twins were both girls so they let them be.

They jumped in their overalls, no need for a shirt,

Threw a hat on each head, then turned with a jerk.

They ran to the gun rack that hung on the wall.

There were 17 shotguns they grabbed them all.

Bubba said to the young'uns, "now hesh up ya'll!

The last thing we wanna do is wake up yer Maw."

Maw was expecting and needed her sleep,

So out they crept out the door without making a peep.

They all looked around, and then they all spit.

The young'uns asked Bubba, "Paw, what is it?"

Bubba just stared he could not say a word.

This was just like all of The stories he'd heard.

It was Santy Claus on the roof, darn tootin'

But the boys didn't know they was about to start shootin'!

They aimed their shotguns and nearly made a mistake

That would have resulted in venison steak.

Bubba hollered out, "don't shoot, boys!"

That's Santy Claus And he's brought us some toys.

The dogs were a-barkin' and a-raisin' cain,

And Bubba whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.

"Down, Spot! shut up Bullet! quiet, Roscoe and Enos!

Git, Turnip and Tater and Sam and Bosco!"

"Git down from that porch! git down off that wall!

Quit shakin the trailer, or you'll make Santy fall!"

The dogs kept a-barkin' and wouldn't shut up,

And they trampled poor Pete Who was only a pup.

Santy opened his bag, And threw out some toys.

Bubba got most, but left a few for the boys.

Since the guns had been dropped he just might not die.

He jumped in his sleigh, told his reindeer to hurry.

The trailer started to wobble santa started to worry.

Just as the reindeer got into the air,

The trailer collapsed, but Bubba didn't care.

He was busy lookin' at all his new toys.

Then a thought hit him, and he said to the boys:

"Go check on yer Maw, make sure she's all right.

That roof fallin' on her could-a hurt just a might."

But Maw was OK, and the girls were too.

They fixed up the trailer it looked good as new.

And as for Bubba, he liked Old St. Nick,

But Santa thought Bubba was a pure-in-tee hick!

Bubba had a nice Christmas, and the boys did, too.

And the Taylors wish a Yee Haw Merry Christmas to you!!!

2010-02-15T08:10:00.000-08:00

Want To Go Redneck Fishin' Then Click Here!

Fishin' is downright fun when you use dynamite for bait! Aim for bass, trout and catfish, but watch out for the endangered turtle!

Blow past the daily limit, and help Randy and Brandi catch a bounty of fish for their roadside fresh fish stand. They need to earn enough money to save their family homestead from the clutches of Sheriff Buford. Intuitive one button gameplay will have you fishin’ like a down home redneck.

Note: You MUST have a data plan/internet access on your Blackberry device in order to install this game.

Tattoos

2010-02-14T17:14:00.000-08:00

Top Design Tattoos

Click Here!

Top Design Tattoo provides thousands of award winning tattoo designs that can be browsed through from the comfort of your own home.

Members are able to browse through a Huge Database of all types of designs from one central location. New designs are added on a regular basis.

All designs are categorized to make it easy in finding what you are looking for. When you are ready to get your tattoo, a tattoo parlor locator is available for your convenience.

Don't waste time in looking for just the right tattoo in a tattoo parlor. Find your design ahead of time, print out your design, and take it to an artist.

Redneck Computer Terms

2010-02-04T21:12:00.001-08:00

BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.
BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern.
BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick.
BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro.
CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps.
CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in.
TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker.
CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited.
DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers.
DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer.
FAX - What you lie about to the IRS.
HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.
HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.
INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair.
KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.
MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food.
MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers.
MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall.
MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live.
NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line.
ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test.
ROM - Where the pope lives.
SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch.
SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast.
SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year.
SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear.

You Might Be A Redneck Race Fan Wood Sign

2010-02-04T18:46:00.000-08:00

Buy at AllPosters.com

Bang Head Here Tin Sign

2010-02-04T18:41:00.000-08:00

Buy at AllPosters.com

Doc Holiday Secretary Desk

2010-01-15T14:47:00.000-08:00

Doc Holiday Secretary - $1,619.99

The Doc Holliday Secretary, in distressed wood, offers plenty of storage space for documents and letters. Flip-top lid with slide supports. Measures 27"W x 15"D x 44"H. Every piece is unique and will vary. ~Allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Cannot express ship or ship to Alaska or Canada.

Wagon Wheel Bar

2010-01-15T14:42:00.000-08:00

Wagon Wheel Bar - $1,399.95

A Lone Star Western Decor Exclusive - Add a showpiece to your entertaining area with the rustic Wagon Wheel Bar, handmade from teak wood recycled from antique farm equipment. Each eco-friendly bar is unique and can be used indoors or out. Measures 55”W x 24”D x 43”H. Every piece is unique and will vary. ~ Allow 2 to 3 weeks. Ships from the manufacturer. Cannot express ship or ship to Alaska or Canada.

Antler Alder Wood Table

2010-01-15T13:57:00.000-08:00

Antler Alder Wood Table - $1,699.95

A Lone Star Western Decor Exclusive – The smooth grain of Texas alder wood is given special treatment in the Antler Alder Wood Table finished with Banner Red accents. Naturally shed antlers with handmade metal plates form the handles for the solid wood panel doors and drawers. Measures 60"W x 18"D x 36"H. ~ Ships from the manufacturer. Allow 4 to 6 weeks. Cannot express ship or ship to Alaska or Canada.

Old Wood Cross w/ Barbed Wire

2010-01-15T13:46:00.000-08:00

Old Wood Cross w/ Barbed Wire - $129.95

A Lone Star Western Decor Exclusive - Made from recycled antique pine doors with old barbed wire and hand-hammered clavos, the Old Wood Cross with Barbed Wire looks great in any western-themed space. Each cross is unique and will vary. Measures 16”W x 32”H. ~ Allow 1 to 2 weeks. Ships from the manufacturer. Cannot express ship or ship to Alaska or Canada.

Buzzard's Breath Chili w/Side Of Beer Pan Bread

2010-01-13T10:52:00.000-08:00

I am fixing this recipe for lunch today. It is one I received from a good friend of mine, Bubba. He highly recommends it, and since Bubba is a Texas chef, well, I am sure he would not steer me in the wrong direction.
The recipe is called BUZZARD'S BREATH which is an old chili term for VERY HOT.
1/4 pound suet (no casing), ground
4 pounds flank steak, cut into 1/2 inch cubes
3 large onions, chopped
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 quart water
8 whole tomatoes, chopped
1 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
8 chili pods, chopped
2 tablespoons crushed red pepper seeds
1/2 cup chili powder
Salt to taste
2 tablespoons masa flour
Render suet in large skillet and add steak cubes and cook over heat until cubes are brown. To large pot, add steak and all remaining ingredients except masa flour; stir to mix well. Bring to a boil and reduce heat; simmer, uncovered, for 2 hours, stirring often, uncovered, for another 15 minutes.
Serves 8
Of course too, if the buzzard's breath chili ignites to much heat within your belly, you will want a pan of this bread to go along with it.

Beer Pan Bread
4 cups Bisquick baking mix
1 teaspoon brown sugar
2 teaspoons sugar
12 ounce can beer
2 tablespoons grease
Combine Bisquick baking mix, sugars, and beer, stirring until thoroughly blended. Pour into a heavily greased iron skillet and cover. Simmer on top of the stove, covered, at low heat for 30 to 35 minutes. Slice while piping hot and serve like corn bread.
Serves 6 to 8

Age Changes Things

2010-01-13T10:45:00.000-08:00

Who in the world changed things when I wasn't looking? I've noticed lately that every thing is farther away then it used to be. It's even twice as far to the corner now, and somebody added a hill.

I've given up running to the bus; it leaves much earlier than it once did. AND IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THEY ARE MAKING STAIRS STEEPER THAN IN THE OLD DAYS, AND HAVE YOU NOTICED THE SMALLER PRINT THE NEWSPAPERS ARE NOW USING? And there's no sense in asking anyone to read aloud anymore as everyone speaks so softly that I can hardly hear them.

The materials in clothes are so skimpy now, especially around the waist and the hips, and the way they size the clothes is much smaller than it used to be. Why, I have to buy clothes two sizes larger than I wear just so they will fit me right!

Even people are changing. They are much younger than they used to be..when I was their age. On the other hand, people my own age are much older than me. I ran into an old classmate of mine the other day, and he had aged so much that he didn't even recognize me. I got to thinking about my poor dear friend while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection in the mirror. . . .Really now! They don't even make good mirrors anymore!

So tell me. . . Who changed everything?

Wanna' Buy A Ranch?

2010-01-13T10:11:00.000-08:00

For you ranchers (and wanabees), I saw this article awhile back and thought you might enjoy it. Despite the hardships, the secret desire of every Texan is to one day own his own ranch in the country. If the bug ever bites you, you might want to heed the advice of Dick Yaws, former Farm and Ranch Advisor for WBAP Radio in Fort Worth, Texas, whose own small ranch was called Oleo, because it was such a cheap spread. Here are Dick's minimum requirements for ranching:

A wide brimmed hat, one pair of tight jeans and $20.00 boots from a discount house;

At lease two head of livestock, preferable cattle - one female, one male;

A new air-conditioned pick-up with an automatic transmission, power steering and a trailer hitch;

A gun rack for the rear window of the pick-up, big enough to hold a walking stick and a rope;

Two dogs to ride in the bed of the pick-up;

A forty dollar horse and a three hundred dollar saddle;

A goose-neck trailer, small enough to pull up and park in front of a cafe;

A little place to keep the cows, on land to poor to grow crops;

A spool of barbed wire, three juniper posts and a bale of prairie hay;

Credit at the bank;

Credit at the food store;

Credit from your father-in-law;

A good neighbor to feed the dogs and the cattle whenever the owner is out in Colorado fishing or hunting;

A pair of silver spurs to wear to Bar-B-Ques;

A rubber cushion to sit on for hours at the auction ring every Saturday;

A second-hand car for going out to feed the cattle when your son-in-law borrows the pick-up;

A good pocket knife, suitable for whittling to pass the time at the auction;

A good wife who won't get upset when you walk across the living room with manure on your boots;

A good wife who will believe you when you come in at 11:00 p.m. saying "I've been fixing the fence";

A good wife with a good full-time job at the court house!