Wanna' Buy A Ranch?

For you ranchers (and wanabees), I saw this article awhile back and thought you might enjoy it. Despite the hardships, the secret desire of every Texan is to one day own his own ranch in the country. If the bug ever bites you, you might want to heed the advice of Dick Yaws, former Farm and Ranch Advisor for WBAP Radio in Fort Worth, Texas, whose own small ranch was called Oleo, because it was such a cheap spread. Here are Dick's minimum requirements for ranching:

A wide brimmed hat, one pair of tight jeans and $20.00 boots from a discount house;

At lease two head of livestock, preferable cattle - one female, one male;

A new air-conditioned pick-up with an automatic transmission, power steering and a trailer hitch;

A gun rack for the rear window of the pick-up, big enough to hold a walking stick and a rope;

Two dogs to ride in the bed of the pick-up;

A forty dollar horse and a three hundred dollar saddle;

A goose-neck trailer, small enough to pull up and park in front of a cafe;

A little place to keep the cows, on land to poor to grow crops;

A spool of barbed wire, three juniper posts and a bale of prairie hay;

Credit at the bank;

Credit at the food store;

Credit from your father-in-law;

A good neighbor to feed the dogs and the cattle whenever the owner is out in Colorado fishing or hunting;

A pair of silver spurs to wear to Bar-B-Ques;

A rubber cushion to sit on for hours at the auction ring every Saturday;

A second-hand car for going out to feed the cattle when your son-in-law borrows the pick-up;

A good pocket knife, suitable for whittling to pass the time at the auction;

A good wife who won't get upset when you walk across the living room with manure on your boots;

A good wife who will believe you when you come in at 11:00 p.m. saying "I've been fixing the fence";

A good wife with a good full-time job at the court house!